Driving to work today, was the first day in a long time that I had a huge pit in my stomach. I haven’t felt that way in probably a year since I quit my last job. I know that part of it dealing with my career choice and where I should be going from here. Sometimes, thinking about the future puts me in a place that is not good. Thinking about the future increases my anxiety and my fear that I will not have a career that I love.
I am starting this paragraph after having 2 therapy sessions today. I am starting to think that I may be able to handle private practice with spending some money on training and making my therapy practice more of what I want; art therapy, DBT, mindfulness, journaling, yoga, etc. I need to start figuring out how to incorporate eastern ways of thinking into my therapy and maybe then move on to my own practice or maybe not an actual clinical practice, but groups on dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression.
As I sit here and type, I am getting excited, but then that fear and anxiety kick in. This is where mindfulness and slowing myself down come into play. Being excited over a potential new venture, following some of my passions, is great. It’s the anxiety, fear, and doubt that I need to reign in.
Mindfulness is all about paying attention to the moment, not looking to the future or to the past. The problem is, both the future and the past play a role in how we live our lives today. It’s using the past and the future in ways that are beneficial to us, not in ways that cause detriment. For me, my past passions over using mindfulness and art therapy as well as the others I mentioned, help to spur me on and motivate me. The future, is where I need to change my way of thinking. It is detrimental to focus on “what if I fail?”. It is helpful to focus on what I need to do to meet my goals in the future. Even before I get to that point, it is important to know what my goals are and then I can work on how do I meet those goals.
I need to sit myself down and start to plan some goals. What do I want to be doing? I need to get some clear focus on what are my goals. Once I have concrete goals (that doesn’t mean they can’t change or transition to something a little different as time passes), then it’s time to start thinking about what I need to put in place, what do I need to do to meet those goals.
How do you plan for your future? Is it helpful to look at the past as well as the future?